Oftentimes in negotiations, people slip up by asking the wrong questions. Bad questions can quickly turn a good negotiation sour.
For example, don’t ever ask “Why” questions in a negotiation because that will most likely instigate a defensive response. Asking “why” questions forces the other side to defend their position and makes them feel backed into a corner.
The best questions start with “What” and “How.” These types of questions encourage your counterpart to explain the way they want things done or how they think you should accomplish something. At the core, “How” questions ask for help. These types of questions gives your counterparts the illusion that they are in control. Let’s use an example.
It’s 4:30pm on Thursday and your boss strolls into your office and asks for your team’s progress report for his Friday morning meeting with the board. You realize this is impossible because you aren’t scheduled to get individual reports from the team until the following Monday morning.
You could respond with “why” questions: Why do you need these for tomorrow morning? Why are you coming to me so late with this request? Why do you often blindside me with last-minute requests?
Or you could respond with “what” or “how” questions: My team’s reports aren’t due until Monday morning so what would you like me to do about the missing information? How do you suggest I get the report done by tomorrow morning when the other team members won’t have their updated reports in until Monday morning? How would you like me to give you an accurate report when I don’t have the other team’s updated reports in yet?
Hopefully, through this example you can see the difference good questions can make. This week, practice asking more “what” and “how” questions.
