Last week, we talked about the importance of listening and the use of non-verbal communication. This week, we will dive into other aspects of active listening including what author Chris Voss calls “tactical empathy” in his book Never Split the Difference.
“Tactical empathy is listening as a martial art. It allows us to balance the subtle behaviors of emotional intelligence and the assertive skills of influence to gain access to the mind of the other person,” Voss says.
When listening to others, don’t be a problem solver, be a people mover.
In other words, don’t be in such a hurry to come to a solution or conclusion, but instead… slow down. Going too fast is a common problem all negotiators make.
If we come across hurried, people can feel as if they aren’t being listened to and can jeopardize the trust you have built and undermine the relationship. While you slow things down, draw out the emotion in your counterpart’s language, identify the emotion and allow them to expound upon it.
This week, remember that, contrary to popular belief, listening is not a passive activity – it is the most active thing you can do. In every conversation you have with others, make an effort to slow down, listen and put into practice some of the tools we are discussing.
