Whether you realize it or not, we negotiate all the time. Negotiation is defined as: A discussion aimed at reaching an agreement. We negotiate with spouses, children, bosses, coworkers and even strangers on a daily basis.
What’s also interesting is that most people walk into negotiations wearing armor made of smiles and script. But underneath?
Fear.
Fear of risk. Fear of looking stupid. Fear of mistakes. Fear of losing.
You name it, it’s in there, running the show behind the curtain.
So what’s your job?
Remain curious.
“It seems like there’s something bothering you.”
“It sounds like you’ve been burned before.”
“Can you help me understand what’s not sitting well with you?.”
Now, you’ve just cracked the surface.
You didn’t accuse. You didn’t analyze. You observed.
And now, they’re either going to correct you—or open up. Either way, you just learned something.
Remember: negotiation isn’t a battle. It’s not a chess game. It’s not even a pitch.
Negotiation is a process of discovery.
And if you’re not uncovering what’s hiding beneath the surface, you’re negotiating blind.
That’s where the real landmines are. Not in what’s said, but in what’s avoided.
Ask yourself: What are they afraid of losing? What past pain is still hidden underneath the surface? What aren’t they saying?
Now, all you have to do is provide them the space to say it out loud.
